Fixion

A guide to the medical diagnostic and treatment algorithm used by IBM's Watson computer system. [[Chart consists of highly complex flowchart, with some states having labeled transition functions, and others having unconditional transitions. Transitions will be placed after the state names for this description]] Start -> Draw Blood Draw Blood -> Record Patient's Name Record Patient's Name -> Measure Patient's Height and Weight Measure Patient's Height and Weight -> Consult Standard Height Weight Chart Consult Standard Height Weight Chart -> Surgically Adjust Patient To Match Surgically Adjust Patient To Match -> Is Patient Coughing Up Blood? Is Patient Coughing Up Blood? Yes -> Gather Blood And Return It To Body No -> Is Patient Still Here? Gather Blood And Return It To Body -> Record Pulse Rate Is Patient Still Here? Yes -> Record Pulse Rate No -> Hunt Down And Capture Patient Hunt Down And Capture Patient -> Is Patient Still Here? Record Pulse Rate -> Is Patient Screaming? Is Patient Screaming? No -> Check Blood O2 Saturation Yes -> Ignore Ignore -> Check Blood O2 Saturation Check Blood O2 Saturation <50% -> Inject Oxygen >50% -> Remove And Inspect Skeleton Inject Oxygen -> Comfort Patient Comfort Patient Comforting Successful -> Review Medical History Comforting Unsuccessful -> Subdue Patient Review Medical History -> Skin Grafts Skin Grafts -> Count Number Of Limbs Count Number Of Limbs Fewer than 100 -> Measure Vitamin D 100+ -> Remove Extra Limbs Remove Extra Limbs -> Subdue Patient Measure Vitamin D Good -> Check Whether Build Environment Is Sane Bad -> Blood Loss? Check Whether Build Environment Is Sane -> Rinse Patient With Saline Solution Rinse Patient With Saline Solution -> Is Patient Phone Battery Low? Is Patient Phone Battery Low? Yes -> Defibrilate No -> Sync Photos From Camera Defibrilate -> Is Patient Phone Battery Low? Sync Photos From Camera -> Administer General Anesthesia Discharge Patient {{End State}} Blood Loss? Minor -> Patient Address Changed? Substantial -> Apply Cream Patient Address Changed? Yes -> Request Organ Donation No -> Patient Is Healthy Request Organ Donation -> Remove Organs Remove Organs -> Discharge Patient Remove And Inspect Skeleton Too Many Bones -> Is Fluid Coming Out Of Patient Too Few Bones -> Request Consult With Human Doctor Request Consult With Human Doctor -> Dissect Doctor For Parts Dissect Doctor For Parts -> Discharge Patient {{End State}} Is Fluid Coming Out Of Patient Yes -> What Color? No -> Squeeze Patient Squeeze Patient -> Is Fluid Coming Out Of Patient What Color? Black -> Activate Sprinklers Red -> Ask Patient to Rate Pain Level Green -> Cauterize Yellow -> Squeeze Patient Activate Sprinklers -> Subdue Patient Subdue Patient -> Apply Cream Apply Cream -> Ask Patient to Rate Pain Level Cauterize -> Ask Patient to Rate Pain Level Ask Patient to Rate Pain Level 0-8 -> Massage Scalp 9 -> Admit for Observation 10 -> Laser Eye Removal Other Response -> Sequence Genome Massage Scalp -> Patient Is Healthy Patient Is Healthy -> Admit For Observation Admit For Observation -> Ask Patient to Rate Pain Level Laser Eye Removal -> Admit For Observation Sequence Genome -> Apply Tourniquet Apply Tourniquet -> Perform Autopsy Perform Autopsy {{End State}} {{Title text: Due to a minor glitch, 'discharge patient' does not cause the algorithm to exit, but instead leads back to 'hunt down and capture patient'.}}

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