HOW TO
Absurd Scientific Answers to
Common Real-world Problems

Sharks

[[The character is sitting on a throne, talking to a minion who's not shown in the panel.]] Minion: The prisoner escaped and is swimming toward the mainland! Leader: Release the sharks. Minion: Yes, sir. Minion: The sharks are swimming away. Leader: They're escaping, too? Send sharks after them! Minion: Now those sharks are swimming away. Leader: More sharks. Minion: ... sir, what's going on? Leader: Prisoners, of course! Can't let 'em escape! Minion: Sir, are you trying to turn Doom Island into a marine biology center? Leader: Shark populations are in decline-- Leader: *ahem* Leader: I mean, the world must fear us! Minion: Right... {{Title text: 'Now, minions, I'm off to inspect our shark cages.' 'Do you really need to inspect them this often?' 'PRISONERS MUST NEVER ESCAPE.'}}

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