HOW TO
Absurd Scientific Answers to
Common Real-world Problems

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[[Black Hat Guy gestures at a person in a car in front of him, indicating they should drive behind him.]] BHG: Just pull onto the receiving platform. Driver: Cool - I've always wanted to try one of these futuristic robotic garages. [[The car is on the receiving platform, and the driver walks away from it, towards BHG.]] [[As they watch, a giant robotic arm lifts the car by its hood.]] Driver: Um. [[The arm turns around and holds the car over a giant bin marked 'CARS'.]] [[The arm lets go, dropping the car into the bin.]] <<CRUNCH>> [[BHG and the driver are standing next to the receiving platform.]] BHG: We'll dump out the bin when you get back and you can pick out your car from the pile. Driver: Can you at least make sure it's not on the bottom? BHG: Look, robots aren't magic. {{Title text: But listen, if getting your car out from under the pile is REALLY important to you, we do have an axe you can borrow.}}

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