Parody Week: Achewood

[[Philippe is dreaming of having his ears checked. There's an eye chart on the wall behind him.]] Doctor (out of frame): Philippe, your hearing is perfect! In fact, you heard ALL the beeps! You have super-hearing! You're needed at Hogwarts! Philippe: Oh boy! [[Ray is holding a letter and talking to Roast Beef.]] {{Meanwhile . . .}} Ray: Beef, check this out. I got an invite to that The Dude Is Pretty Awesome In Most Measurable Ways I Mean Wow competition. Beef: Alright that is pretty sweet dogg what is your strategy gonna consist of Ray: I'm thinkin' I need to point out my best features--maybe go holdin' a sign with an arrow toward my junk. [[Ray holds up a sign saying "Yes" such that the an arrow on it points directly at his crotch.]] Beef: Yeah well I always said subtlety was your middle name dogg Beef: And also your first and last in case they didn't get the point Ray: How do you think I should play it? Beef: Well basically you got no chance as I see it these dudes are all lovers and fighters to the last Beef: All sprung fully formed from the head of Sweet Sweetback Beef: You are gonna stand out as the sort of dude who stays at home all night playing fleshlight tag Ray: These words you got are crazy. Didn't I win the outdoor fight? Beef: Uh huh about the fight I wasn't gonna tell you but how could you miss that I was setting you up Ray: What? Beef: You got played dogg Beef: I basically just didn't have the heart to go through with it in the end. Beef: Anyway the point is that you are gonna lose this thing so hard Beef: All cheap McD's hamburger to their slabs of steak Beef: A couple 12-oz sirloins garnished with nothing but pure manhood Beef: Maybe some sprigs of parsley Beef: You are pretty much going down [[Closeup of a shocked Ray.]] [[Silence.]] [[Silence. Beef looks perturbed and his ear is twitching. Ray's mouth is open.]] [[Silence. Beef looks sorry.]] [[Silence. Beef looks sorry and Ray looks annoyed.]] [[Silence.]] [[Silence.]] [[Silence. Beef is looking down and Ray's mouth is open.]] [[Silence. Ray's mouth is open.]] [[Silence. Beef is looking down and Ray's mouth is open.]] [[Silence. Beef looks surprised.]] {{alt: I always wanted to impress them with how well I could hear, didn't you? Also, this sets the record for number of awkward-pause panels in one strip (previously held by Achewood)]]

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