HOW TO
Absurd Scientific Answers to
Common Real-world Problems

Black Hat Support

[[A man - wearing a black hat - is sitting at his computer, wearing a phone headset]] Phone: Thank you for calling the Black Hat Support Line, your first source for Linux support. How may I assist? Man: Hi. I'm running an Apache server, and the load keeps climbing out of control. Phone: Okay. First, click on the Start Menu. Man: I'm sorry, this is the Linux helpline, right? Phone: Of course, Sir. Man: If you'll just open the "My Documents" folder- Phone: Just a damn minute, I think you're putting me on. Man: Please bear with me, Sir. Man: Now, load up your AOL and go to the Keyword "Linux"- Phone: *click* {{Alt: So as not to leave you hanging -- it was a problem with select() calls.}}

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