[[A lot of people making toasts]]
Just a regular fucking person: Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends!
A biologist: Pseudopods for my real friends and real pods for my pseudo-friends!
An anachronist: Petticoats for my real friends and real coats for my petty friends.
A botanist: Loosestrife for my real friends and real strife for my loose friends!
An entomologist: Ladybugs for my real friends and real bugs for my lady friends!
Some kind of insufferable 90s nerd: Single-payer for my real friends and realplayer for my single friends.
Internet addict: Tumbleweeds for my real friends and real weed for my tumblr friends!
Bird lord: Fauxhawks for my real friends and real hawks for my faux friends!
{{Title text: Platonic solids for my real friends and real solids for my platonic friends!}}
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